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May 30, 2013

sky and river

I have recently returned from a ten-day plant dieta in an indigenous community ten-hours down river from Pucallpa. The return trip is fifteen hours – such is the force of the current.

I wrote about dietas in general in a previous entry. This time I did the dieta with both chiricsanango (a shrubby tree) and bobinsana (another shrubby tree normally found near streams and rivers). I have dieted these plants separately in the past and so have some familiarity with them.

The dieta was very strong, intense and challenging. This time, unlike before, I did not have to work or attend social commitments alongside the dieta so I could allow myself to fully sink into the depths of the process.

I got to know both plants better. As before, chiricsanango was very friendly, companionable, steadying and clarifying – a delightful, benevolent presence. He is known to help greatly with strengthening the central nervous system.

BobinsanaFor some strange reason – perhaps related to my earlier dieta when I was working and had to suppress some of my responses – I had the idea that Bobinsana was relatively lightweight. Nothing could be further from the truth. She is both subtle and powerful. She works with the emotional body and I found the emotional hue and tone of every encounter thrown into sharp relief. This was clearer to me with the perspective I had at the end of the dieta rather than during it when I basically just lived it.

Many points were revealed to me during the ten days and beyond of this dieta. The one that I want to write about now concerns this blog.

It was made clear to me that I should not be revealing certain details of the encounters with the world shown to me by Madre Ayahausca. In fact, one time, she said to me that she would take me somewhere on the express condition I did not talk – and especially not write – about it.

I could see that writing about some of these experiences in this blog – especially as if they were hunting trophies – has served to drive the experiences away. This is unequivocal.

At one stage, I was thinking that I would have to stop writing this blog and began mentally composing a kind of blog suicide note addressed to “Dear Reader”. Now, as the process of the dieta has further unfolded, I think that might not be necessary but I have to be very mindful about what I write about and find the right form to express myself.

This otherworld does not like the harsh light of overly direct description nor rational explanation. It has to be approached in a more poetic way, that is in a form more appropriate to its nature.

SteinerAll this puts me in mind of the lines I read in Rudolf Steiner’s marvelous short book “Knowledge of Higher Worlds and Its Attainment” where he recommends that people do not talk at all of their experiences of higher levels of consciousness.

Steiner wrote this extraordinary book in 1904-5. Over one hundred years on, we live in different times in a more confessional culture with all its associated advantages (less emotional repression) and disadvantages (gross narcissism). We share at the drop of a hat. I would find it hard not to say anything to anybody about my experiences but I get the point Steiner is making. Once these experiences enter the social realm, they are changed – less mysterious, more tangible, more left-brained.

It is also one thing talking carefully with friends and fellow journeyers and another writing on the internet.

I do want to continue to write partly because it is a good medium for me to express myself – I am really the most terrible visual artist – and also people have told me they like and learn from my blog. The next post will be an example of the kind of writing I want to move towards.

  1. Michael Guy permalink

    This is understood Paul.
    Somehow bringing these issues into the light somehow deflates and ‘two dimensionalises’ them.
    The subtle emotional charges one accumulates are so easily evaporated when trying to frame them into language.
    There can be a consequential loss for onesself, and a debasing of the wonder that one is trying to communicate, into banal cliche, or meaningless babble to others.

    The image comes to mind of the sadness sometimes permeating a zoo where magnificent animals are all too often reduced to curiosities.


  2. Liesbeth permalink

    Thanks for sharing these writings Paul, I am happy you had another beautiful journey with new insights and experiences. I miss the Amazon and your words bring my own experiences alive again- i fully resonate with this blog, that is why I struggled participating in the group sessions during the workshop, sharing the experiences bu talking about them somehow didnt seem to do justice to its intensity, beauty, significance and deepness and in a certain way diluted the experience. Looking forward to the new forms of expression you are developing- be well, abrazos!

  3. CosmicDrBii permalink

    Thanks for your comments Liesbeth and Mike. I really like the zoo metaphor, very apt.

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